5 Points for Good Memories

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.-Deepak Chopra

 

Michael Gelb wrote an interesting piece about memory and how to powerfully make it work for you in creating and sustaining relationships. All you need to know are how five basic principles of memory function:

1. Primacy. Our brains remember what happens first.
2. Repetition. We remember what's been said or done, over and over.
3. Outstanding. Novel experiences standout from the routine.
4. Personal Association. Be fully present and really listen, at least once a day.
5. Recency. We tend to remember what happened most recently.

Gelb's article goes on to offer ways to incorporate these 5 principles in relationships, particularly with a partner. As I began to search for an appropriate photo that illustrated memory, I thought about the story of Hansel and Gretel and the way that Hansel dropped bread crumbs behind him to remember the way home. It's somehow always served as an illustration of how my memory works.

When I came across this book cover, all of Gelb's five principles made sense again, but in a different context. My mom read to us from a Little Golden Book just like that one. It's one of the first stories I remember (primacy) and we asked to hear it over and over again (repetition).

What made it outstanding is that my mom changed her voice for each character and my favorite was her rendition of the wicked old witch, scary and so real. What also made it special was that my brother and I (the other two came much later) got to spend time sitting still and quiet, not vying for attention but somehow sharing it (personal association).

The only principle that differs here is the last, recency. Memories of a time when I wasn't able to read go back a long, long time. Then again, I recently spent a few days together with my entire family and I feel as though I dropped a few more breadcrumbs along the way. Today, the Little Golden Book has been replaced by photos, videos and text messages but my mom is still there, changing her voice for each character. I was never afraid of the wicked witch because ingrained in my memory was the fact that Hansel and Gretel lived happily ever after.

Take the time to read Gelb's "The Things We Remember" and start making good memories of your own and for those around you. :D