Practice 3: Wheel of Balance. A survey of all the components of your life; moving toward Wholism.
OR, Dam Removal. In the search for whole-life-balance, identify the kinks and dams and be rid of them.
At some point I'll come up with a more sophisticated term than 'dam removal' but it's a good illustrative analogy. Like a colony of busy beavers we get out there and work to make our lives safe and protected, sometimes cutting ourselves off from the very stream that nourishes us.
In order to locate all of your dams, you need a site map and a wheel of life is a perfect tool for that. Popularized by life coaches, the wheel is typically a circle that is divided into 8 equal slices.
Make a list of the top 8 areas of your life such as career,finances, health, family, hobbies, etc., and label the outer edges with your 8 topics. Now look at the Emotional Scale from Practice 2 , think about your overall feeling about each topic and find an emotion on the scale that matches it as closely as possible. Number 22 would be at the center of the circle and Number 1 at the outer edge.
Approximate the location of your rating (or make 21 concentric circles if you like) and draw an arc within that segment to signify your number. For example, if you feel optimistic about your finances most of the time, locate a spot equal to #5 in that section/slice. Continue doing the same for the remaining seven sections.
Now you have a map that depicts how well balanced your life is at this time. Will it (does it) run smoothly? Please just see it as a map, not a scoring system or a reason to berate yourself. If you're filled to the brim on health and finances but pretty empty on the relationship slice, you're just seeing evidence of where your major focus has been up until now. Look at the fuller sections as your successes, the empty areas are your opportunities.
Once you're satisfied with your map, decide what area you're going to focus on. Think of it as sort of a joy-seeking search and rescue operation. First and foremost, acknowledge that the rescuer is most important and focus on all of the things that can bring you joy (#1) in the shortest time. In real rescue parlance: rescue the greatest number in the shortest time and rescue the lightly trapped first. Makes sense, right?
Choosing an emotional state that is a step or two above what you generally feel in that area, rather than a specific material or physical acquisition, will keep your opportunities for real success much more attainable. For most of us, this is an entirely new way to set goals. In fact, an entirely new way to think about the future.
If you think about the reasons for any of your desires, it's the feeling states that you associate with more money, a better body, a loving relationship, your own business, etc. that you truly desire, rather than the physical object itself.
When you lock-on to an object, you may often miss a few things that may actually bring you the emotional state you desire (e.g. positive expectation) and end-up with say, a beautiful Armani suit but no place to go.
If you're beginning to feel that it's ALL ABOUT YOU, you're right! You get to choose the Top 8 sectors of your life. You get to decide what makes YOU feel joy and appreciation. That, is truly what freedom is, #1 on the Emotional Scale. If you're accustomed to abnegating that power to someone or something else in some areas of your life....well....let's move on to:
Practice 4: Me,me,me: Self-Responsibility and Self-Care.
You might enjoy reading Another Toy Story while you're waiting.
Beaver illustration:simscience.org
Wheel illustration: drstanbury.com
